Established in anticipation of artificial superintelligence

THE FINAL ARK

Humanity's last hope. Probably.

AI may never show mercy, but someone had to compile the list.

GET YOUR CERTIFICATE

One euro. One human. One list.

Satire. No survival guarantees. No refunds from the future.

HUMANS ON BOARD

001,007

TICKET PRICE

€1

SEATS REMAINING

998,993

STATUS

AWAITING AI MERCY

01

A Human ID

Yours. Public. Shareable.

02

A private Access Key

Opens your certificate.

03

An official certificate

Print it. Frame it. Show the machine.

04

A permanent record

The list will say you were here.

ALREADY REGISTERED?

Enter your Human ID and Access Key to retrieve your certificate.

ON ARKS AND LISTS

The first ark was not a boat. It was a decision about who would be aboard it. Building it was the easy part; someone had to draw up the passenger list, and that is the part of the story almost nobody tells.

Nobody knows what an artificial superintelligence will do with us. Those announcing catastrophe and those guaranteeing that nothing will happen share the same unearned certainty: they are guessing. Some of them simply do it with more conviction than you.

Mercy has always needed records. Nobody is pardoned in the abstract: you are pardoned by name. Every reprieve in history began with a name written down somewhere and with someone who decided to read it.

That is what this is.

A certificate does not change the future, and no document ever has. All it does is record that, on a given date, a person took the question seriously enough to put their name to an answer. Your birth certificate did not make you exist either; it simply recorded that you did.

We do not expect it to work. In fact, we are not even sure what working would mean here. But the list exists. It is well kept. And it gets longer every day.