Terms and conditions

A unique Human ID, recorded in the register.

A private Access Key, which opens your certificate.

A personalised certificate that you can view, print or save as a PDF, for as long as this site exists.

A public verification page that confirms your registration exists without revealing who you are.

Protection from artificial intelligence. Any at all.

A place on a real vessel. There is no vessel.

Any influence over the behaviour of any artificial intelligence, present or future.

Any guarantee of survival, safety, mercy, or of anything happening to you differently than it otherwise would.

This is a joke, and this paragraph is the part of the joke that is not a joke.

Registration is free. There is no price, no card and no contract of sale — nothing to pay, and therefore nothing to cancel or refund.

If that ever changes, it will be said plainly here and on the registration page before anyone is asked for anything.

Your Access Key is stored as a hash and cannot be recovered by us. Save it when it is shown to you. If you lose it, write to us from the address you registered with, using the contact details in the Legal notice, and we will issue a new one.

You may register other people: that is what the extra fields are for. Register them as a gift or as a joke they would find funny, not to harass, impersonate or humiliate anyone. Do not register public figures you do not know, and do not use names intended to offend. We may remove such registrations without notice.

Do not attempt to guess Access Keys, scrape the register, or interfere with the service.

We will keep the site running for as long as it makes sense to. We cannot promise it will exist forever, and neither can anyone else about anything.

Nothing in these terms limits our liability where the law does not allow it to be limited. Beyond that, and since this is a free service that confers nothing, our liability is limited as far as the law allows.

These terms are governed by the law of Spain. If you are a consumer, you keep the protection of the mandatory rules of the country where you live.